We are five middle-aged Russian-speaking friends, ready to take on Italy...
Venice is our first stop, the city of romance...
Next, we’ll hit Florence, the city of art...
Of course, Tuscany awaits with its wineries and medieval cities...
Stay tuned for more misadventures. We might not make it through this trip without getting lost, but we’ll definitely have stories to tell...
Day one in Venice, and we’re already mastering the art of the boat-as-a-taxi system. If you think hailing a cab is stressful, try flagging down a boat while avoiding a near miss with a gondola full of honeymooners. But we made it, bags intact, spirits high, and only one near-slip into the canal (so far).
Finding our apartment was like participating in a Venetian scavenger hunt. We zigzagged through alleyways, clutching our map, while trying to avoid getting run over
by tourists with selfie sticks.
After what felt like three marathons (give or take), we finally arrived at our apartment! And, behold, a deck! We imagined ourselves sipping wine while overlooking the beauty of Venice. But, of course, the steps up to the deck were... in the bathroom. Yes, if you want to enjoy the view, you have to take a detour through the toilet. Is this ancient architecture or just a cruel joke?
No time to rest, though. We needed fuel. Enter: pizza. We found a place with slices so big they could double as blankets. Grabbing our pizzas, we sprinted off to meet our tour guide, Ricardo, who probably wondered if we were running away from someone with that much urgency. But pizza in hand, we were ready to take on Venice with carbs and confidence. Ricardo led us around the city, filling our heads with history, art, and anecdotes, while we did our best to not get distracted by all the photo ops.
Somewhere along the way, we decided that Inna had a secret date with a fictional, incredibly handsome Italian named Marcelo. Every time she wandered off for a second, we’d nudge each other, “Ah, she’s off to meet Marcelo.” Inna was playing along and we were lounging away.
Now, about the sunset. We planned to catch it in all its golden glory, but we got there 50 minutes early. So, we were sitting next to Adriatic Sea and sipping our cocktails from the plastic glasses like awkward tourists, pretending to take in the sights while secretly hoping the sun would speed things up. Eventually, though, we did get our sunset moment at the restaurant—and it was reflection of it on the buildings. Oh well
We wrapped up our first night in Venice with our very first Italian dinner by a canal. Pasta was on the menu, of course, and so was the constant worry that one of us would accidentally topple into the water while trying to take a photo. We may have laughed about it at the time, but the “please don’t fall in!” mantra became our unofficial group motto for the night.
Venice, you’ve won us over already—with your canals, your pizza, and your potential for awkwardly romantic fictional characters. Stay tuned for day two, where we’ll continue our tour of Italy.
Day two in Venice, and we’re already feeling like seasoned boat commuters. This morning, we hopped onto a boat to Murano, the land of famous glass and questionable navigation skills (ours, not theirs).
First stop: the Glass Museum. Now, I didn’t know glass had such a fascinating history, but there we were, oohing and aahing over everything
from delicate vases to strange, ancient
glass sculptures that probably held someone's 14th-century snacks.
Then came the real mission: finding a fornace—a factory with the almighty oven where glass is actually made. You’d think that on an island dedicated to glass, this would be easy. You’d be wrong. Cue the sight of five middle-aged Russian speakers running through the narrow streets of Murano like contestants on The Amazing Race: Venetian Edition.
But after several wrong turns and perhaps some overly enthusiastic map reading, we finally found it! The oven, the heat, the magic of molten glass. We watched a glassblower create something so beautiful that we all immediately decided we needed to commemorate the moment—with glass necklaces, obviously.
Just as we were starting to feel like real Venetian glass experts, it was already time to head back to Venice. Our next stop: Palazzo Ducale.
Now this place is stunning—art, architecture, and, surprise, a prison! Nothing says “palace vibes” like finishing your tour by visiting the prison cells. It’s like someone said, “Here’s a beautiful ceiling fresco, and oh, by the way, here’s where they locked people up.”
As we left the palace, we noticed the big paddle by the entrance, which meant only one thing: acqua alta, the famous Venetian flood, was on the way. We watched as locals casually pulled out their plastic shoe protectors, calmly preparing for the water. Meanwhile, we were just trying to figure out where we could buy those cool foot condom-like boots. Thankfully, the flood was more of a puddle today, so we didn’t have to swim back to the boat.
Next, we planned to go to Burano. But after running through the city yet again, we suddenly realized it was getting late—and we were exhausted. So, naturally, we did what anyone would do in that situation: we changed our minds. Burano could wait. The search for food, however, could not.
Finding a restaurant that satisfies five hungry people is no easy feat. Some wanted sandwiches-paninis, others pizza. In the end, we surrendered to the first place we stumbled upon, which felt like finding an oasis in a desert. We didn’t care anymore—food was all that mattered. Lunch at 4 pm? Why not! We’re officially on Venetian time now.
After our late lunch, we decided to be responsible adults and buy groceries for breakfast the next day. Bags filled with essentials (and prosciutto, of course), we made our way home. But when we got back, disaster struck: the prosciutto was gone! It had vanished into thin air. Maybe it got lost in translation—or just lost in the maze of Venice. Either way, it was a tragedy, and we may never solve the mystery of the missing prosciutto.
We drown our sorrows in champagne with campari and went out for dessert that evening.
As soon as we finish our desserts we were greeted by rain. Because of course, when you’re already soaking wet from losing prosciutto, why not add some actual rain to the mix? But hey, at least we’ve got our glass necklaces and the great memories to keep us going. Stay tuned for tomorrow’s adventures, which will hopefully involve more running and fewer disappearing groceries.
